I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
