Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
