I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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