whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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