Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Dick very happy bro
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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