My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
