yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
