I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
