There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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