at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
