If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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