Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize