sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
