So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
