then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
