you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize