I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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