we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Randomize
