ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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