I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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