there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
