I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
