I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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