Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
