i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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