This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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