I am in a vortex of obligation.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
