This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
