My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize