it was like his penis was on wheels.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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