I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize