i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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