Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
you never un-have a 4some
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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