so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
