We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
