I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
