when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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