Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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