I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
