high people should be assigned attendants
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
How does one acquire holy water?
So vagazzling was a success
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
