so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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