Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
