That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
