woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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