How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
