We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
