Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
