God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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