Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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