I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
