sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
