We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
