Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
