but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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