you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize