I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
