I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
