it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
