I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
