"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
