no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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