Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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