Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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