She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
